Thursday, December 3, 2009

Testimony before the senate committee on Foreign Relations-Global Woman's Issues

Started reseaching global women's issues on Violence.
Found it interesting to come accross this address to the senate on gender based violence.
Melanee Verveer reveals how detrimental the scale of the issue and deems it larger than a "womens issue" but a humanitarian issue. Please take the time to read the below link. It feels good to know this issue is being addressed on a high level and to even address it as a pandemic of sorts.

http://www.state.gov/s/gwi/rls/rem/2009/130268.htm

Gender based violence in SRI Lanka- Concerning

Found this clip of high percentage of women experimenting common violent sexual crimes in SRI Lanka. Alarming!
http://video.google.com/videosearch?hl=en&rlz=1R2ADFA_enUS349&q=sexual%20crimes%20against%20women&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wv#q=sexual+crimes+against+women+in+us&hl=en&emb=0&qvid=sexual+crimes


There is easy access to women and women have little privacy. Abuse typical on buses. Apparently it is difficult to come forward with allegations....society not equipped to handle. Some women experience sexual harrassment everyday. In need of agencies and hotlines to help.

I wanted to see how other cultures are handling this very topic...its widespread and intolerable acts....something that needs to be looked at in a more global light.

Men speaking out against violence against women

In class on monday we hit a topic that I wasn't familiar with so I decided to look into it. I typed in men speaking out against violence against women. I thought about it and it seems so much more profound if a man would stand up against it. Imagine a commercial where a man stands up and talks about how he refuses to act violent against any woman and he asks for support for this. If you google this topic it brings up several Canadian sites to where apparently they have a white ribbon campaign to educate men and boys on this very issue:
Check out the link
http://www.whiteribbon.ca/about_us/#1

How interesting and seems like it would be more effective of a way to bring attention to the matter.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Activism,Change,and Feminist Futures

Being that we are discussing the United Nations in my International Relations class and I have a paper due on a film called, "The Girl in the Cafe," this is the perfect reading. Check out the below link and look into this film..I will post a UTUBE clip also for you to take a peek:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Girl_in_the_Caf%C3%A9

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BvdAYWIbEg

The movie was Excellent! It talks about the UN Millennium goals as does our reading and depicts a woman that isn't afraid to speak her mind to a somewhat intimidating Chancellor in order to fight for the war against poverty in Africa. At first I found myself almost embarrassed for her and realized anytime someone is courageous enough to stand up for what they believe in, afterawhile the embarrassment takes an undertone and bravery superceeds. I grew to admire Gina's character. Gina is willing to to take a chance and risk everything to fight for strangers that are suffering. Her feminist behaviors replicate the goal to have women fully participate in public life and decision making. It validates the need for change by encouraging women into political roles in order to diversify any aspects that may get overlooked. Where there is uniform amongst politicians, one can see how it may be possible to obtain the bandwagon effect where there is decision making.

Transformity in the minds of our politicians can allow for a change in our future. In order to change, we have to have learned by our previous mistakes. Women in general have been excluded to these ratifications per say. Educating women to gender issues certainly can increase our changes of pushing our way into politics and the decisions that follow. Extreme measures need to occur in order for our "millennium goals" to be reached. As the reading suggests, an International bill of rights for women defies discrimmination and sets up these national agendas for change.

I like how the readings give many different ideas on how to initiate or promote awareness on such topics. Just in the few months I've been exposed to such topics, it has given me the desire to look further into the various organizations that can encourage leadership for women.

Friday, November 27, 2009

famous quotes by Susan B. Anthony

http://womenshistory.about.com/cs/quotes/a/qu_s_b_anthony.htm

I like:
I can't say the college bred woman is the most contented woman. The broader her mind the more she understands the unequal conditions between men and women, the more she shafes under a government that tolerates it.
and of course:
Failure is impossible

Address of Susan B Anthony

In reading up on the ERA, I have been looking into information on Susan B. Anthony and came across Anthony's speech on right to vote. It's very well written.
http://www.law.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/anthony/anthonyaddress.html

I have serious admiration for her courage to face so many Americans with her stance. For someone to devote so much time and effort into beliefs and rights for women in general is intriguing. I can't imagine living back in these times and going against society and the norms. Her work is astounding!

ok..I never thought about this..-women drafted for selective service???

Please check out the below utube clip about the Equal Rights Amendment with real womens comments and then look at the comments about the clip..At first the comments are appalling..a man is disgusted about women wanting equal rights and I kept thinking..who the hell is this guy and who does he think he is...then one comment got to me! It states..do women want to register for the selective service? My answer is NO! I have a child and cannot imagine it be mandatory that if we want equal rights that we should have to sign up for the draft...what stapulations would there be...this is mind boggling.....I hope you guys have comments out there about this topic...I believe in equal rights just as much as the next but I don't want to be drafted!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCkWpIavdfU

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

State, Law and Social Policy-ERA

In reading this article, I found myself interested in the ERA or whats called the Equal Rights Amendment. If you want to know more about this amendment, check out the following link:
http://www.equalrightsamendment.org/
It states the Amendment would provide a legal solution against sex discrimination for both women and men. It would guarantee that the rights affirmed but the U.S. Constituation are held equally by all citizens without regard to sex. It has been introduced into congress since 1923 and ratified by 35 states out of the 38 needed.

This says something major about women's rights. Women have had to fight and struggle for this long and still nothing????Yes we do have several clause's and acts that address some of women's struggles such as equal pay and right to vote and such but our rights themself are not outlined as they need to be. Before taking this class I used to think women have come such a long way but if you really fine tune our progress it seems it has taken decades for any forward movements. I mean recently we had a woman candidate run for presidency, but we don't have all equal rights secured within the ERA? This scares me. Truely. I'd love to be a supporter of this and become part of a group to complete the work of our "equality fighters of the past." If I am just learning of this now at 32, I wonder how many others out there know about our missing piece. Sexual discrimination on the basis of anything is amiss. I wish we made this a class discussion because I am very curious as to how many woman are aware of this very argument.
The article states that opponents of the ERA have claimed that the amendment is anti-family,reporting that it would deny a women's right to be supported by her husband and encourage women to desert motherhood. Desert motherhood?? What about fatherhood? Does anyone care that men leave and there doesn't have to be anything to encourage them??? Except to bail on the responsibility. Ok this is coming from my resentment over my ex husband but still. Does anyone see what I am saying at all???

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Dream World 3 video-Popculture,desire,sex and power

What were your responses to the video we watched in class Friday? I never really thought about it so deeply but for the first time I felt like I had been personally degraded. These women allowing men to throw bologna at them while they were naked? What lengths are you willing to go to? I actually felt sorry for these women. Like I wish I coulde of brought a towel to them so they could cover themselves and tell them that this is NOT FUNNY! These men laughing like it's this big joke. How awful!! It was apalling. I think I'd rather work in a fast food restaurant and live poorly than live rich knowing that when I went to work that day I might be pulling bologna pieces out of my butt. I will pray for these girls so that they find the courage to pursue something where they receive the respect they deserve.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Never Boring

Kristi Turnquist's text stating-passionate, selfish, romantic, pragmatic, strong, lovable one minute, hateful the next, but NEVER BORING! I recognize the traits to the fullest in my own self. She asks, Where are the Scarletts, meaning Scarlett from Gone with the Wind. I haven't seen this movie but read info on wikipedia about her character. She seems stunning. I'd really like to look into her character alot more. If anyone has seen the movie can you tell me more about it and how she is? It says she is not the stereotypical woman in some ways but other ways she is. States she has proto-feminism and strength. Well I just watched the below clip and Im caught!!!!!!!!!! I'd love this movie....she is psycho emotional(and thats not even a word lol)!!!!!!!!! It's perfect!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZ_V3DfGgYI&feature=related

Barbara Jean's character in Reba-Melissa Peterson-More men comedians then women?


Since I have started looking into further details of the series Reba, I want to share with everyone my passion for my favorite character on the show. I attached most of her funniest blurbs. Check it out. We don't really talk about comedy and women and I think it's a very important subject for women. Sometimes a good laugh can really be important to a woman. Sometimes when you get a good laugh it becomes a coping mechinism. I'd love to tap into comedy and gender and society.
I couldn't find much statistical data out there that actually states typically how many more men comedians there are but I did find a bit of info on the below web site.
It indicates that in the past 12 months at a hot comedy spot called Zanies in Chicago, there were 5 stand-up comics that were women and 67 that were men. This doesn't prove the theory there are more men comics but it certainly gives us a rough idea of whats out there! I would love to see this data change also.

Monday, November 16, 2009

A Woman's Role Is...on Television-Reba McEntire




Reba McEntire is absolutely my favorite TV show! I want to talk about target audiences as does Turnquiest stating that there is a gap between the big screen and small. I agree..there are more films that appeal to men but I do see an increase in films that appeal to women which is pleasing. In regards to small screen however, the TV series REBA is an excellent show appealing to women but not only women...women, men, and children of all ages. The show is the only sitcom to where my 62 year old mother, myself(32 years old) and my 8 year old son can sit down and all laugh together. Below is a summary of the show for those that have not seen it.

“Reba” McEntire TV Series

Show set up in Houston, Texas and Reba is a single mother whose dentist ex-husband Brock has left her to marry a young ditzy Barbara Jean after an affair with her. The show then reveals Barbara Jean is also pregnant. As the show progresses Reba painfully comes to the conclusion that despite all her efforts to hate her, she likes Barbara Jean and considers her a friend.
Reba’s older daughter Cheyenne, then a high school senior is pregnant. Cheyenne married her baby’s father Van and Reba allows Van to move in. Reba also has two other children including Kyra, an intelligent and rebellious teenager and young boy named Jake who is trying to sort through the family mishaps.

Reba facts:
Single mother
She has a teenage daughter who gets pregnant
Divorced due to a husband who had an affair
She is still handling ex husbands problems with his current marriage
Real estate agent
She is always in control
Open and approachable
Comical
Sarcastic
Good hearted and show deals with real issues such as alcoholism, weight problems, financial, continuing education, deceit, religion, sex
Responsible
Dresses conservatively and doesn’t use sex appeal
Show has imperfections similar to real life
Appeals to many generations..Kids..Middle age and seniors due to variety of issues

Preface to scene-Season 6 finale
Scene depicts the uniting of Brock and Barbara Jean after their relationship is heading towards a divorce but Reba steps in to save it. Scene shows Van and Cheyenne’s relationship rekindling after a dispute and Reba left standing all by herself. They all feel sorry for her but Reba continues to reveal her happiness with her place in life with all the ones she loves surrounding her. It ends with a snapshot of all the family to include the ex husband and new wife. Reba’s strength to have a united front for her children only proves her independent sense of self. She is a survivor. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RpBpyhwkls

Turnquist advises that woman who are in filmaking appear to be noble, loving and or worried wives or just eye candy. I do see a turning point however...look at Demi Moore in GI Jane...Glenn Close in Airforce one where she plays a Vice President and Jennifer Lopez in Angel Eyes where she plays a policewoman. All these films do give us hope of a future where woman can really discover and display what they are made of. Whether it be sitcoms or films...keep them coming..the fact is woman do play multiple roles in real life and lead different types of lifestyles and we all need some sort of identifcation. Directors and writers and actors all alike have their work cut out for them to be where we need to be today.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Why women Kill-class discussion

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=7326555&page=1

The above link shares some interesting reasons why women kill and who they kill. We recently discussed in class why men are more likely to kill then men and also in different ways. It states women are more likely to kill someone that is related to them, younger and they tend not to use guns. It also states that it most likely is self defense or a mental illness.

I began thinking about how awful it must be for a woman to kill her child. One might think...how could she do it. Although I can't contemplate how this could happen, I do understand frustrations and have been to a point I felt I could "lose it". Lose it by simple meaning removing myself or my child away from the particular sitation at hand. I consider myself to be a somewhat fortunate woman however. Yes I struggle financially like many of us do to pay bills but I make it. I have clothes, a car, a home, and the ability to receive and provide a descent education to myself and to my child. I consider myself stable. Imagine a woman who doesnt have it together. That has no family to reach out to. That has no friends to vent her frustration or perhaps doesnt even realize she has god to reach out to. I don't justify killing someone a way to vent her frustrations but I do see how sin may prevent itself and at a moment of insanity with life, I can see a glimpse of loss of control that she may see before her. That is why as a society, I do believe we do need to be a sort of neighborhood watch in a sense. You know how officials now say if you see suspicious activity in an airport you must report it and you find yourself now actually looking for it. Well in a way, I think it is important that if you see suspicious activity even around your childrens friends or parents of children, I think it's worth speaking up about. A single mom of three kids who looks completely bogged down and on the brink of something...maybe we can start reaching out to those women. Offer to babysit so they can have an evening off...get their email address and reach out as a friend...woman to woman...show them we care...again..I don't condone killing but if we don't understand why these women do such a thing then maybe we can work on being better friends and reaching out as a community. ANYONE CARE TO BABYSIT...I sure could use a night out with my friends...LOL....JK..In all seriousness....being more aware of irrational behavior from anyone and speaking up may stop any sort of maltreatment. Sometimes....people don't know HOW to ask for help or where to turn.......

Colon Cleansing

Have any of you heard of a procedure not just something you take orally but an actual procedure for cleansing your colon. I have a friend of a friend that just did this new procedure that you are supposed to lose 10 pounds immediately. It sounded insane and nothing I wanted to do but I was just curious if anyone has had anything like this done and what was your experience with it?

Discussion in class-hard to lose weight

My boyfriend and I just had this discussion the other evening. I have always struggled with my weight as has he and have hung around girls that have never had this problem. In fact, I have been around them so long that I have seem them devour more food than I would consume on a daily basis. Their genetic disposition burns their fat quicker than mine. I feel I could think about food and gain a pound. Like my fat cells are screaming because they are being tortured. Might sound extreme but I do believe this. About 2 years ago when I decided I was ready to be on the lookout for a a new relationship after my divorce, I did decide that losing many many LB's would perhaps allow for my chances of finding him alot faster!! I began to obcess about excercise and dieting. It became my life. Every free moment I found, I would utilize it to some sit ups, run up a hill, lift some weights, ride a bike, and so on. If I wasn't working or taking care of my son, I was excercising. Over the span of about 6 months, I had lost 30 pounds. Yeah for me! However...where did my life go...I know for a fact my sons needs took a back seat so that I could look good. It almost became selfish in a way. I do believe in getting healthy and staying fit. I do! But for those of you that don't have to worry about losing extreme amounts of weight, it really isn't all that easy! It becomes your life. Making small changes over time, I am sure is how you make a difference but again with that one has to be consistant! Just as if you had a smoking problem or an alcohol problem...I don't even consider myself having a food addiction problem. I don't stuff my face every moment...well I did just have a jello pudding pop but hey they are only 90 calories ..give me a break..so imagine having a weight problem staring you in the face but knowing your life priorities must change without failure. It's scary..it's time consuming..it's frustrating.... yes will and determination are key factors but do you know and realize just how much desire one has to have in order to keep with such tasks....I admire all those woman who have been on endless diets and found the one for them and have been able to keep it off. GO GIRLS!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Love Your Fat Self

Courtney E. Martin writes"We are deathly afraid of fat," I also believe this to be true! As she states it is directly related to severe medical conditions such as heart disease, stroke, diabetes and cancer. I see many faults in our society that don't help the problem yet many aspects that push healthy eating and fitness. Finding a balance perhaps and finding a way to incorporate healthy living into our routines is crucial. Martin explains how most programs that are designed to curb obesity neglect the complicated issues of fat. I have been on MANY MANY diets and the one I think that addresses healthy eating and excercise and does not deplete your body of the necessary vitamins is Weight Watchers.

http://www.weightwatchers.com/Index.aspx

It incorportates all food groups and encourages physical activity. One can also attend meeting where you become educated on important measures when striving for your new lifestyle. One of the problems, I am having now with myself and my son, is finding the time. My girlfriend has just started doing weight watchers online and has already started to succeed. Having various options gives people more flexibility with their own lifestyle. Martin also touches base with pediatric obesity and how to teach children to maintain a healthy weight. I have always had my 8 year old into some type of physical sport up until this recent Fall semester. He now only gets sparatic exercise. This has not helped him but hurt him. Although he attends a public school that has a gym class weekly and afternoon playground time, it's not enough. I thought by having a far away parking spot at VCU, I also would be benefiting from walking to my classes daily and would maintain or hopefully lose weight. The point is one must endure at least an hour a day to high intensity exercise. If you don't find yourself out of breath and sweating then you need to step it up. Our bodies are meant to work and we are in a society that makes it easy on us. I engage in these luxuries and fall for the Mcdonalds sales tactics but wish for the day that I am not tempted and go by my own bodies desire for nutrition and excercise so that my son can also mirror my habits. It is a work in progress and it takes much effort!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

off the topic of our readings-Pooping Doll

Have any of you actually seen this "pooping doll"? Of course they also make it a little girl I might add. I have a son but this is just gross. Do we really need to go this far? Scary! Saw a commercial and i just had to share.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUI0RKiW8uM&feature=fvw

Tamoxifen-found this interesting

Found it interesting that when Seldon, (woman in "Eyes on the Prize") was breast cancer free, her doctor put her on a medication called Tamoxifen. I wondered why she as prescribed on a medication for 5 years. Here is the link:

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Therapy/tamoxifen#q12

It's ashame that it may cause uterine cancer but it looks like 2 cases out of 1000.

Eyes on the Prize

"You've got a great pair but they aren't worth dying over," are words that seemed to engage me into this article. Seldon who has been diagnosed with breast cancer in both breasts had to make a decision that could possibly mean life or death in her future. It encaptures anyone who has had to deal with tough realities but most of all it made me wonder what if I was diagnosed with breast cancer. How would I handle it? What final decision would I make. Would I choose a Lumpectomy and chance having the cancer return? Would I choose a masectomy? What about women who have a past history of breast cancer or have lost a mother or grandmother and they make the decision to surgical remove their breasts before the diagnosis. The struggles must have been to much to handle. They didn't want their children to possibly face losing them? Seldon's story especially was touching throughout when her husband seemed to be such a support to her. He made it known to Seldon that he loved her breasts but her loved her much more. He made her know that she was what was important. I think alot of woman may struggle so deeply with this because the mere thought of losing a breast or breasts makes them feel like less of a woman. However it seems as if there are so many options for a woman that have had mastectomies, to feel like a "woman". Selden spoke about all types of prostheses for different size cups. I thought it was cool how she wore different sizes to different events. If I had that choice, I wouldn't wear anything when I jogged and if I had a hot date, I would wear a c cup. It would be nice to choose what you wanted to wear depending on the occasion. It's great also that they make them more natural and more comfortable also. It's great that Seldon after all things considered did not regret they decision she made to have a double masectomy. It is also great that her family supported her decision. I think she is brave and after reading her story, I feel better prepared to understand what options would be available to myself and/or a loved one.

Here is a link with info on Breast Prostheses:
http://breastcancer.about.com/od/lifeaftertreatment/tp/prosthese_ov.htm

Monday, November 2, 2009

Just curious-how can I prevent breast cancer

In reviewing the article called "Eyes on the Prize", I became interested in how can I as a 32 year old woman prevent breast cancer. With an already weakened immune system because I have no spleen, I have always looked into vitamin supplements and just recently into more nutritious foods. I came across the below foods that could help:




http://www.naturalhealthweb.com/articles/maher2.html

I am a true geek so I posted these on my fridge. I love veggies so this isn't too bad. Also I just heard from my cousin who is in nursing school that Vitamin D3 5000 IU are great for your immune system! If you have a child they also make these in gummy style.

I used to hate the idea of Green Tea but now there are so many flavors added to green tea that make the experience wonderful. My mother made me hot green tea with mango last night and I absolutley LOVED it. I also like cold green tea with citrus. Anyone have any flavors they would like to share? I would love to try new ones~

Five Moments of Infidelity Trailor

Came across the following Utube trailor in regards to infidelity. Pretty Intense

www.imdb.com/video/wab/vi2975268889/

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Infidelity



Today we listened to Governor Roy Romer discuss infidelity. He talked about long term marriage and what happens to those that remain in a long term marriage. He states that those who do remain in a long term marriage will at one point have feelings for someone outside the marriage. He states that you must work at marriage like a job. What would it take to be fulfilled? Trust and openness are two key components? How open? Define open? Are we heading towards a society of non-monogomous realtionships? Some relationships do choose this route and can be successful. However I believe marriage or a committed relationship has to be defined by what both of you desire or expect. I prefer monogomy but I do believe that the couple should be honest enough to share with the other when they discover they are having feelings or "crushes" on somebody else. They then can work on what problems may have brought them to this point before a possible disaster hits. Many couples have places they can turn for help. A few examples could include churches, councelors, and/or friends.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Faked Orgasm-Chapter 4 readings

This particular excerpt indicates how in the earlier days of the second wave of the Women's Movement, women gathered in small consciousness-raising groups to talk about their experiences with sex. They realized that more women than none had actually faked an orgasm. I think this topic is very interesting and I think it should be talked about more often. I believe that it is okay to fake an orgasm. I believe it brings us back to the topic of how sex means different things for different people. Some women who faked an orgasm on any given night may have needed to only get nurturing for her partner. Therefore in order to satisfy her man, she wanted to show him how pleasured she was. Some individuals get fulfillment by knowing their parner was satisfied and he/she then can relax and enjoy. Also, sometimes if a person is taking a particular medication or in a particular mindset, he/she may not be able to reach orgasm. This can not only be frustrating to either partner but cause stress to the situation. Also, woman especially can enjoy sex without orgasm. I don't think if you fake orgasm everytime however that this is healthy or normal but I do believe that sometimes it is crucial to a sexual existance. You don't have to have good sex to enjoy it. Any connection whatsoever can be beneificial to either partner. You also can not be in the MOOD for sex and find yourself somehow engaged in sex and be completely in the mood afterall.

I located a webpage that indicated 75% of women faked their orgasm. here is the link

http://news.softpedia.com/news/Why-75-of-the-Women-Fake-the-Orgasm-56389.shtml

This topic is definately one where I can see women to be embarrassed to talk about but I think it would be interesting to have an open discussion about this and see what are the reasonings behind it.

Sex and what it means for different people


Today in class we discussed sex and what it means to different people. It can be emotional or non-emotional. It can be stressful or it can actually relieve stress. It can be joyful or hurtful. It can show love or it can show hate. It could also have religious undertones. It also has different meanings for different age groups. I became really curious about other women in their thirties such as myself and if their sex drive had increased or decreased since their twenties. I came across the following:
Dear Alice,
Is it true that a woman's sex drive is at its peak when she reaches 30? I can vouch for the fact that at 32, I think about sex more than I ever have in my lifetime.
—Horny 30's
Dear Horny 30's,
This sex drive statistic came from researcher Alfred Kinsey, PhD, who learned that women had more orgasm in their thirties than at any other time in their lifespan. This may be due to many reasons. Women in their thirties often have become more comfortable with their bodies and with their body responses. Their orgasms, sometimes from intercourse/penetration, more often than not, have become more reliable. They often have more self-confidence and a stronger sense of themselves. Women in their thirties also have a better sense of their needs, and perhaps are more willing to communicate their needs more fully. More familiar with their body responses, they can describe what they want to their partner more easily, thus increasing their sexual satisfaction. This increased sexual satisfaction can then result in a cycle of desiring more sex.
Another factor to take into account is the change in hormone levels as women age. As men and women age, their testosterone levels drop, with a slower decrease in testosterone in women. This gradual decrease can cause women to desire sex more often than men their own age. Also, as hormone levels fluctuate in a thirtyish-year-old woman, her desire for sex may change, as well. In most cases, the desire for sex increases.
People are unique individuals who'll desire sex in different ways and quantities. In the meantime, you can enjoy your sexual energy, your lust, your fantasies, and your magnificent thirties. Contrary to what many believe, life isn't all downhill from here. As people grow older, what they lose in frequency, they make up in quality. Just think of sexuality and pleasure as improving with age, similar to fine wine.
You can check out the following resource for more info:
"Intimacy and aging: Tips for sexual health and happiness" on the MayoClinic website
Alice
I thought this was interesting...I hope the fluctuation in my hormones continue so that even in my forties, my desire will remain elevated.
Also, I think it's GREAT that couples in their sixties have a great sex life. I hope that I can say that as I get older. I think it's HEALTHY!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Tips to prevent sexual assault

Found this on a site......interesting

Tips to teach the women we love:
1. If you are attacked, always remember the elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. If you are mugged and the robber asks for your purse, don’t hand it to him but throw it away from you. Then run like crazy in the other direction.
3. Use your loudest voice to scream for help, but if there is no one around, scream “NO!” and hold your hand in a stop position as you are backing away.
4. If someone should jump in your car and hold a gun to your head, do not drive off. Instead put your foot on the gas pedal and speed into something. The airbag will save you, and as quick as the car hits, jump out and run.
5. Be aware of your circumstances at all times. If you feel you are being followed, go to a public building and call 911. Do not take a chance.
Trust your gut
As humans, we are all blessed with an inner voice that gives us warnings and promptings. If something or someone does not feel right, then leave the area as soon as possible. Do not try to argue with your institution.
Sexual Assault is not about Sex
Sexual assault is about power, control, anger and feelings of inadequacy on the part of the offender. It is acting out of these thought patterns which focuses on those weaker and more vulnerable, which puts others at risk. Men, women and children who have been forced into sexual situations which were not consensual or where there was an unequity of power, should feel no blame or shame. It behooves us as a community to offer support for victims and speedy criminal charges and incarceration for those who would violate our most vulnerable members.

VCU Sexual assault 2009

Good to know..I pulled up VCU crime reports for 2009 and for those of you that don't know this, I found out there have been no sexual assaults reported on or off the Monroe Campus..Good to know!!


http://www.vcu.edu/police/docs/CrimeStats/2009MonroeStats.pdf

Sexual Assault on campus

Wednesday's discussion in class about sexual assault on campus was a topic that many students had alot of personal scenerios to discuss. I think we could probably even come up with several more interesting situations. When I graduated Highschool back in 1995..yes 1995.. I was blessed to go off to a nearby college in Radford, VA..Radford University. It used to be a all womans college but it changed to unisex and the school had alot to offer. I do remember traveling in packs with other girls off to parties and even to classes at night. I remember I even had a guy friend named Phil, who was a BIG guy and he would walk me to a night class. We would always hear of assaults and such at night. SCARY!
Dr. Holliday mentioned a girl who always left her door open because her boyfriend would come in later at night and instead of her boyfriend coming in this particular night, another boy came in and had sex with her. The girl did not know it was her boyfriend?? When I heard about this particular situation I questionned this...I tried to imagine myself..now a light sleeper because I have a child and I know if this happened to me I would know RIGHT away it wasn't my boyfriend. Unless she was such a sound sleeper that she was SLEEPING through the SEX, I find it hard to believe she didn't know it wasn't her boyfriend. Also, if she sleeps THAT deeply then she needs to see an MD!!!! No offense but this was tough to here and not think outside the box. If she claimed Rape, I seriously would have that case turned inside out and upside down.

Race and Domestic Violence and Support Services

In reading the text by Crenshaw closely I was severely affected when finding out that battered women were indeed turned away by shelters if they cannot speak or understand English. The particular women named Marie in the story was a battered woman who fleed with her teenage son because her husband threated to kill them both. She was forced to live on the streets for 2 days and while doing so she had been mugged twice. One of the councelor's at the shelter had advised that they did not want to accept the woman in crisis because the woman might feel isolated due to her language barrier? Ok first of all do you think the woman even cares about feeling isolated due to her language barrier???? I think she probably would just rather food, shelter and security and then the language issue can be dealth with once those issues had been resolved. All I can imagine is here is this poor woman and the shelter would actually boot scoot her out the door into NOTHING...I feel for this poor woman..here she has NO options..not one..knows nobody..has been mugged..has a teenage son and the councelors actually looked at her and pushed her out the door? Is this actually HUMANE? Then the shelter had to odassity of having the woman call some hotline and if she was successful in communticating then she would be helped...IM SEVERELY BOTHERED BY THIS!!!! I have worked in SEVERAL places of employment where we had a language line where a NO-ENGLISH speaking individual could be helped and we would merely call a translator and pick which language and the translator could help the individual. Yes it was a pain in the ass to facilitate this but we did it and it was nice to know that person was able to get the help he/she needed. Why can't this be done in a shelter..UI understand bringing in translators might be expensive but what about just having a language line for women in crisis to help facilitate their needs. If they can afford a HOTLINE then why not implement a LANGUAGE LINE. KI mean has ANYONE thought of this resolution? It seems easy to me...I mean pushing the woman away back into a potential DEADLY situation versus simply obtaining a LANGUAGE LINE...I have attached info about a link that has varios languages...check it out
http://www.languageline.com/

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Virtual Gender

Judy Wajcman writes an interesting article on cyberspace and relationships. It's perfect for this day and age. I think everyone, especially if you are reading this blog has experience with this cyberspace world. It's new, exciting, creative, and allows for this sense of freedom that one just can't tap into in regular ordinary experiences. She talk about how we explore our own identities while also trying out new ones. I find it a way to create our own self into a unique individual or express our own unique characteristics.

With all the new attractive new sites at our finger tips, who wouldn't want to explore. Nobody can see you..nobody can feel you...nobody can see your expressions...it's all imaginary and fantasy like ...in fact two years ago I started playing around with eharmony.com and Match.com trying to seek a desired relationship that I had wanted for quite some time...hell...my entire life. To engage in words..phrases...it begins with winking at someone...they wink back if they are interested. I would start my day with winking at a few guys that wrote somewhat descent profiles and yet displayed some look by their picture that said.."WINK AT ME"..I'd rush home later that day to see who winked back and wanted to engage in conversations. Never did I realize that 2 years later I would be dating someone from a CYBERSPACE site. It's insane. he later told me he had viewed my profile and changed some of his to match mine so that I'd be more interested...FALSE ADVERTISEMENT HUH..funny thing is I can't return him...LOL...I wouldn't want to ...he is a keeper..

In a sense though it did allow for a risk free environment where we could engage in intimate conversations that perhaps many do fear and desire both. Although one may say rish free..I beg to differ that in some instances...Sometimes people who are in secure relationships sometimes feeling homebound adventure out to these sites only to find themselves caught up in relationships that they never thought they would partake in. Is this cheating they ASK??? If your spouse may walk in at anytime while u are networking and you feel you might have to minimize your computer screen than YES YES this is not risk free....I worry about these sites sometimes...TOO ATTRACTIVE maybe??? I've always said sometimes it may expose you to too much variety...too many situations dumped in your lap.....SIN IS KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR SOMETIMES and if and only if you can keep it to friendship would I suggest it.....Would any of you agree that sometimes these sites can bring too much drama on if your life....Do you find yourself looking at times people logged in or what their status is or why he/she did this or said that online and what they were inferencing....I don't think this was where Wajcman was going with her article but the article bring me to wanting to discuss this topic very much...I bet soooooo many of you out there have something to say about this topic......IS it really such a SAFE environment?????Isn't cyberspace in a way lustful and that alone can be dangerous grounds for DISASTER...Please comment on this..I'm dying to know what others think.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Family Systems, Family Lives


In reading this article, I absolutely fell in love when I heard the definition of family. The article states call them kinship systems. The word kinship sounds so warm and loving. I love being part of a "kinship". The standard family however is not so standard. One in three children are born to unmarried parents who may or may not be living together. This has actually become the norm. I used to think that my child was suffering because he wasn't living in a two parent household and that he might end up scarred for life. However, he has myself, my mother, my boyfriend and his family, my extended family and many friends. He is a smart, well rounded young boy. I have learned that many types of family lifestyles are okay and kids need to know that. They need to focus on what good things they do have that other families don't have. My son gets to have Christmas at his father's, his grandmother's and his own home. He has so many other people that bring joy to his life. He has step brothers and half sisters in which he adores. I have always taught him that although he doesn't have both his mother and father living under the same roof with him, look at all the extra people that are now part of his life that he would have never had. We are both grateful for that fact.


This article also discusses Divorce Law. It is of interest to me because I am a divorced woman and have been through the state in order to fight for child support. I have dealt with Child Support Enforcement Services as well as hired a lawyer. My ex husband went through financial hardship where he could not pay his child support. I had to fight for my son's support. Although the situation is better now, I was the statistic that was not getting the appropriate amount of support. Check out the following link:



Unfortunately, the United States has among the highest marriage and the highest divorce rates of any industrialized country. The odds are against us. So we do the best with what we have on our plate and love the people in our lives. No matter their gender, race, ethnicity, etc. We invite them into our homes and share with them what we know. We let our children know that all families are different but that in itself is unique and beautiful.




Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Housework!!!




I find this so sexy! When is the last time you have seen this? Ok for all you exceptional guys out there that make this the normal part of your day, bless you! You own up to the household responsibilities and you equally chip away at it...WAY TO GO...What about all the others out there where they have responsibilities such as a career, commuting,pick up children at daycare, sports, dinner, homework....then the ever so challening role of completing all the 999 chores that are weighing you down like a pizza crust on a baby ant. We all wonder why marriages are ending in divorce????..check out the below stats:








Not one person can do it all folks. Not one person is expected to do it all. Let's help one another..take the burden off and work as a team. The expectations a woman carries to take care of house, cooking, cleaning, laundry, children is enough to send somebody over the edge.




My ex and I fought over this very topic. If I work full time and so does he, we both should be contributing to housework equally. You tend to start to resent the person whom is not pulling his/her own weight. Mainardi states that we women have been brainwashed more than we can imagine. It is true..very true...does anyone remember the Heart Family barbie dolls??? I grew up playing with those...I found this picture of the dolls..please check it out: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieE-BSJ7AHid1ya9Ug8YRHTAiiS7DDUKPrxOfOcHvomEnzepDFO3g-lVQv7Fp0cA9_YZ6aYnl47kJ2ct3cCmDCp_OjZraXdDG3HQ69__BjKvIkbraq0hNkBCV900xs5gwDBVAkntpkmKSu/s320/Heart+Family.jpg
Little wifey..I remember feeling so much stress because all I wanted to do was go to sleep while he watched the tube I worked, without feelings of guilt on his side at all. It was hurtful. No, not all guys or people are like that but I think it's important to consider the situation you are in and realize it's two people working together in order to help one another. If you see the milk is low, go pick it up at the store. Don't assume the woman is going to take care of it.
Again, I am a single mom of an 8 year old and I have a friend whom used to make fun of me because I had my son helping out with dishes, laundry, vacuuming. I am teaching him that it is a part of life and it has to be done and EVERYONE is responsible for his/her part. Is this 100 percent all the time effective?..HELL NO , but I will keep trying so he makes his wife/partner very happy one day.




















Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Oppression-FRYE

I carefully looked up the term Oppression in Wikipedia to give myself an actual definition before reading Frye's reading on Oppression. It breaks it down into several different meanings but the one definition I most could identify with is heavily burdened, mentally or physically by troubles,adverse conditions and anxiety. Whew, in reading this definition, it makes me feel like maybe I am an oppressed woman on this very Tuesday in 2009. With every effort it takes me to write this blog I wanted to take a different perspective. Speak from the heart perhaps to understand and compare myself and my surroundings to Frye's ideas of the word. For example she states it is often a requirement upon oppressed people that we smile and be cheerful. If we comply, we signal our docility and our acquiescence in our situation. Anything but the sunniest countenance exposes us to being perceived as mean,bitter,angry or dangerous. This is so true to our mere existence! Sometimes I feel we are caught by forces as she states. All these big issues that make us who we are or who we are not. Are we single,married,on welfare,have children,eat good, exercise daily. I wish we all could just be ourselves and not be labeled as such. These restrictions do make us immobile sometimes. Sometimes I do think that as a United States citizen we do have so many choices. We are lucky to have that but regardless of these choices do any of you feel trapped like you have been caught in this circle. I think sometimes it is luck if you happen to get out of your circle. That circle can also last for years until you break through to the other side..break on through to the other side..sorry had to sing that. How many of you think that in a sense we are oppressed in our life that has been presented to us and we have to figure out where to go from here. Sometimes we are at other people's whims versus our own. The only reason I was blessed to come to VCU was on a mere whim that the federal government would come through for me based on my circumstance. How much life do we actually have control over? Have your barriers ever penalized your motion in any direction?How did you break free from these barriers to move on. Was that challenge enough to take all of your energies away to where when you finally fought for what you wanted but you were too drained to actually start your new lifestyle. Oppression to say the least is exhausting.

Check out what true Oppression means to people in Arabia
http://www.oppression.org/info/

Can you imagine being born into these conditions?Wandering the streets,dodging bullets as hey pick food out of the garbage. Can you imagine if this was your luck of the draw. What if you could never escape from this? At least we as Americans can escape into something. I do feel lucky for that. I do. I read this article after blogging and now feel like our idea of Oppression in America is so minut compared to these men,woman and children. I feel maybe I want to take back my complaints about our barriers and really focus on way worse barriers than we endure. I am not going back to change my writings. I want to share with everyone how I just learned something. Sometimes we have nothing to complain about in retrospect.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Tired of Playing Monopoly?

We had a brief class discussion on the very subject of the different variations of classes in class recently. Dr. Holliday explained that many of us categorize ourselves into the so called "middle class". Langston breaks down for us the many stereotypes that each of the classes take on. I would have considered myself middle class before reading this article. I live in a female headed household so therefore I am considered the working class or poor. This confuses me because she states most poor people are dependant on welfare for their income so therefore I would not be considered most. I'd have to look into the qualities of what the working class posses. Most working class families are supported by unionized workers who possess marketable skills. My mother and I live together and work as a team. I am fortunate enough at this very moment to not work and support my son and I through child support and student loans to cover rent and expenses and my mother works at an assisted living residence to support herself . Due to the fact I don't work and I am a full time student and she works and maintains a salaried position that I would consider to be low income, we would probably consider ourselves working class. We live in a community where the mean household income is 92,844. Langston states middle class and upper class women can often hire other women to clean their houses,take care of their children,etc... I was walking in my apartment complex around the lake just yesterday when I overheard a woman strolling her child saying it only cost her 300 bucks to pay a cleaning crew to come clean her apartment. I stopped for a second and questioned..what am I doing here? I have always thrown myself into places that were more expensive than I could afford because I wanted to appear middle class perhaps? To project that I have privileges? I do feel fortunate to make ends meet but wonder how my mother and I find ourselves always being able to earn the salaries of the working class but living amongst the middle class.How many others are finding themselves perhaps labeled a different class and you are merely hanging on by a thread hoping you won't fall? Why do we do this?Safety?Security?Appearance?Were we taught this and were we able to keep this up for so long? With today's economy will it finally push us to our max? Please share if you too feel you may have labeled our self as middle class but might actually be poor or upper class. What have been your struggles to survive?What lengths did you take? I'd say I am playing on St. James place but set myself up on Illinois Avenue. What about you?